November 21, 2007 HOLIDAY DEPRESSION - BASIC COPING SKILLS
Christmas trees, Menorahs, and all sorts of holiday ornaments are already neatly displayed in many department stores. This leads to fueling anxiety in many people due to the sheer number of tasks that must be accomplished during the rapidly-approaching holidays. Thoughts of Christmas shopping, family gatherings and the visiting in-laws – amongst other things – are bound to induce stress and anxiety even for those not typically prone to these emotional states. For some people, the stress, pressure, and even loneliness of the holiday season can trigger depression.
The “holidays” of giving thanks, joy, cheer and celebration are upon us now! These are also the days when depression starts settling within many out there. Some deal with it while many others out there go deeper into the pit of depression. Some choose to be very quiet while becoming withdrawn and as that depression sets in it becomes very difficult. I know as I have been there myself. I wanted to share with you a bit more of how I dealt with all this in past years and was hoping to elaborate personal experiences so that maybe others out there would know that they are not alone, possibly by my personal sharing I had hoped to give a few people who might be spending their Thanksgiving alone a kickstart out of those depression blues. Time constraints crept upon me quickly so what I have done is taken the most commonly suggested tips and put them here.
Do the words “I want, I need, buy me, get me” sound familiar? For children, the holidays are a time of leisure and joy that evoke family gatherings, elaborately gift-wrapped presents, and winter vacation. Unfortunately for many of us, the holiday season often brings with it the scary gifts of holiday stress and depression. Experts agree – the holiday season evokes more depressed or anxious feelings then any other time of the year.
Halloween has hardly passed and Christmas trees, Menorahs, and all sorts of holiday ornaments are already neatly displayed in many department stores. This leads to fueling anxiety in many people due to the sheer number of tasks that must be accomplished during the rapidly-approaching holidays. Thoughts of Christmas shopping, family gatherings and the visiting in-laws – amongst other things – are bound to induce stress and anxiety even for those not typically prone to these emotional states.
According to Ann Vernon, a counseling professor at the University of Northern Iowa, "Stress is an emotional reaction to circumstances that you feel are out your of control." The onset of winter, with its low temperatures and shorter days, often contributes to feeling blue by causing seasonal depression or seasonal affective disorder (SAD).
Living a long distance from family or friends and not being able to visit or having lost a loved one can contribute to increased feelings of sadness and loneliness. These emotions are bound to make an appearance during the holiday season when all feelings are heightened. Although it’s not easy, there are numerous ways of helping you deal with holiday grief.
Depressive disorders can make you feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. The stress and loneliness that sometimes comes with the holiday season can augment these feelings. Such negative thoughts and feelings make some people feel like giving up. It is important to realize that these negative views are part of the depression and typically do not accurately reflect the actual circumstances. Negative thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect. In the meantime:
Mild exercise, going to a movie, or participating in a religious or other social activity may help.
Set realistic goals in light of the depression and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.
Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time. Often during treatment of depression, sleep and appetite will begin to improve before the depressed mood lifts.
Postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to make a significant transition — change jobs, get married or divorced — discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
People rarely "snap out of" a depression, but they can feel a little better day-by-day. Remember, positive thinking will gradually replace the negative thinking that comes along with depression. It will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.
Try to be honest with yourself and recognize your feelings
Regardless of what is causing your grief, it’s a good idea to acknowledge and express it. You may need some alone time. On the contrary, you may feel better sharing and discussing your thoughts and feelings with someone. Most importantly, understand that it’s ok; many people experience seasonal depression and holiday blues.
Seek support
If talking to a family member or friend about your feelings isn’t enough to make you feel better, you may want to seek professional help. It is crucial to find an outlet for your emotions. This will release tension and help you gain a fresh perspective.
Set realistic goals
Most of us don’t have Martha Stewart’s cooking or party planning abilities. That’s perfectly fine; your family doesn’t expect that from you. Mostly, everyone wants to enjoy themselves and spend time with family, friends, and loved-ones.
Be flexible
During the holiday season, there seems to always be an occasion for numerous family members to come together in confined spaces. A scenario where a number of different personalities are brought together can many times facilitate conflict. Try to make an effort to be patient and flexible. After all, you may not be the only one in your family suffering from holiday blues.
Set a holiday budget and stick to it
Be prepared to spend some extra money. Things such as gifts, food, and travel expenses are all a normal part of holiday expenses. However, stick to a manageable budget. It doesn’t make sense to start the New Year with a ton of credit card debt or little money in your bank account. Remember, this will only add to your stress. If you typically exchange gifts, try playing games such as “Secret Santa.” This way everyone buys and receives one gift. This may significantly reduce gift-buying expenses, take away from shopping stress, and lower the overall amount of Christmas money you need. It’s also a great way to bring the focus back to what the holidays are really about, rather than on spending tremendous amounts of money.
Have a plan
Planning in advance can make your life a lot easier during the holiday season. Christmas shopping can be done a few months in advance before the shopping mall madness. And although “Black Friday” savings may be fantastic, honestly ask yourself if it’s truly worthwhile to get up at 5 in the morning and fight the crowds over a digital camera and a laptop. If it is, have fun! If it’s not your cup of tea, then skip it. Sales occur all year round. Other anxiety triggers can be avoided, such as stress related to holiday party planning. Simply cook some of your favorite holiday recipes in advance and freeze the items until you are ready to use them.
Stick to healthy habits or make it a point to adopt them
Make continuing or adopting healthy habits a part of your New Year’s resolution. If you already exercise regularly, don’t skip the precious time you dedicate to your own health just because life is hectic during the holidays. If you don’t exercise, you should try to incorporate at least a moderate work-out into your daily routine. It is well known that exercise, even in moderate forms contributes to elevating endorphins, an essential bio-chemical compound needed for our well-being. Brisk walking is considered one of the best forms of exercise, and is a great way to help clear your mind and keep you fit. You’ll find that just 30 minutes per day will make a huge difference. Also, try not to over-indulge in food and alcoholic beverages. By maintaining a balanced body and mind, you can avoid one of the great contributors to holiday stress: weight-gain.
Help others
Many times we are too focused on our own personal problems to look around us. Spending time volunteering is a great way to help others, and is a positive way to lift your spirit during the holidays. Toy drives, homeless shelters, nursing homes, and hospitals all offer the opportunity for you to make a difference in someone’s life. Many people are alone during the holidays, and quite a few of them feel helpless and lonely, such as the elderly and disabled.
Take a break
Try to find some time to be alone. If you can, make it a point to relax or simply do nothing for at least 20 minutes. This is hard sometimes, but even the bathroom is a good place to be alone with no interruptions. Try taking a relaxing bath or a soothing hot shower. Practicing mindfulness through meditation is another great way to keep things in perspective and help you focus on the moment at hand.
Many times, anxiety is rooted in worrying about future events that we really cannot predict or control, and this is especially prevalent during the holiday season. Focusing on the moment is bound to relieve anxiety and help you sleep better at night. It’s good to observe children when considering mindfulness, for they truly live within each moment. They play with enjoyment, eat with gusto, and fall instantly into peaceful sleep. They haven’t learned to worry.
Reducing holiday stress activities can also include watching “feel-good” movies such as “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “Miracle on 34th Street.” These all-time favorites are a great way to spend an evening alone or with family.
Other Tips For Coping With Holiday Stress and Depression
• Make realistic expectations for the holiday season.
• Set realistic goals for yourself.
• Pace yourself. Do not take on more responsibilities than you can handle.
• Make a list and prioritize the important activities. This can help make holiday tasks more manageable.
• Be realistic about what you can and cannot do.
• Do not put all your energy into just one day (i.e., Thanksgiving Day, Christmas, New Year's Eve). The holiday cheer can be spread from one holiday event to the next.
• Live and enjoy the present.
• Look to the future with optimism.
• Don't set yourself up for disappointment and sadness by comparing today with the good old days of the past.
• If you are lonely, try volunteering some time to help others.
• Find holiday activities that are free, such as looking at holiday decorations; going window shopping without buying and watching the winter weather whether it's a snowflake, or a raindrop.
• Limit your drinking, since excessive drinking will only increase your feelings of depression.
• Try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a new way.
• Spend time with supportive and caring people.
• Reach out and make new friends.
• Make time to contact a long lost friend or relative and spread some holiday cheer.
• Make time for yourself!
• Let others share the responsibilities of holiday tasks.
What works for me is music that brings my spirits up. I wish to share with you the Ode of Joy, written by Beethoven after he had gone completely deaf, considered to be one of the greatest works given to Humanity, by a man who suffered depression and much much more. Here are the words written by Beethoven and the lyrics added by Shiller later.
As always, love yourself, love and live Life!
Jim aka the dingo
Oh friends, not these tunes!
Rather let us sing more
cheerful and more joyful ones.
Joy! Joy!
Joy, beautiful spark of the gods,
Daughter of Elysium,
Touched with fire, to the portal,
Of thy radiant shrine, we come.
Your sweet magic frees all others,
Held in Custom's rigid rings.
All men on earth become brothers,
In the haven of your wings.
Whoever succeeds in the great attempt
To be a friend of a friend,
Whoever has won a lovely woman,
Let him add his jubilation!
Yes, whoever calls even one soul
His own on the earth's globe!
And who never has, let him steal,
Weeping, away from this group.
All creatures drink joy
At the breasts of nature;
All the good, all the evil
Follow her roses' trail.
Kisses gave she us, and wine,
A friend, proven unto death;
Pleasure was to the worm granted,
And the cherub stands before God.
Glad, as his suns fly
Through the Heavens' glorious plan,
Run, brothers, your race,
Joyful, as a hero to victory.
Be embraced, you millions!
This kiss for the whole world!
Brothers, beyond the star-canopy
Must a loving Father dwell.
Do you bow down, you millions?
Do you sense the Creator, world?
Seek Him beyond the star-canopy!
Beyond the stars must He dwell.
Finale repeats the words:
Be embraced, ye millions!
This kiss for the whole world!
Brothers, beyond the star-canopy
Must a loving Father dwell.
Be embraced,
This kiss for the whole world!
Joy, beautiful spark of the gods,
Daughter of Elysium,
Joy, beautiful spark of the gods
O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!
Sondern laßt uns angenehmere
anstimmen und freudenvollere.
Freude! Freude!
Freude, schöner Götterfunken
Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken,
Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder
Was die Mode streng geteilt;
Alle Menschen werden Brüder,
Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.
Wem der große Wurf gelungen,
Eines Freundes Freund zu sein;
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen,
Mische seinen Jubel ein!
Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele
Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund!
Und wer's nie gekonnt, der stehle
Weinend sich aus diesem Bund!
Freude trinken alle Wesen
An den Brüsten der Natur;
Alle Guten, alle Bösen
Folgen ihrer Rosenspur.
Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,
Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;
Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben,
Und der Cherub steht vor Gott.
Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen
Durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan,
Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,
Freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen.
Seid umschlungen, Millionen!
Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!
Brüder, über'm Sternenzelt
Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen.
Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen?
Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt?
Such' ihn über'm Sternenzelt!
Über Sternen muß er wohnen.
Finale repeats the words:
Seid umschlungen, Millionen!
Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!
Brüder, über'm Sternenzelt
Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen.
Seid umschlungen,
Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!
Freude, schöner Götterfunken
Tochter aus Elysium,
Freude, schöner Götterfunken
i am glad that one of the lord's many gifts to men is music. how much joy it gives when we are down and feeling low. how it is able to lift our spirits with joy and makes life bearable even for a few hours.think we can all be thankful to the everliving god for many gifts but especially music like beethoven's all 9 symhonies,overtures and many other works. we are blessed by music! raybear62460
Schillers's words and Beethoven's music. How can this be anything other than the "European Transnational Anthem." It is the very spirit of the Enlightenment and enough Romanticism to make it "exciting," rather than cold and formal.
Nothing makes me happier than to hear the baritone break out with the opening lines when he stops speaking and sings! One would have to be impassive not to realize that this music is touched by the divine yet written by a depressed deaf man.
I enjoy your writings and thought process. At some point we’ve all felt that lowness in our life and HIV at times can put a damper on anything. Holiday times especially can be hard for those missing that special person who is no longer with us.
May the music that brings each of us joy, uplift us and give us strength.
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